28 Comments
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Jon T's avatar

so creepy Shane! I agree, cats are unsettling:

"When I picture your abduction, I don’t see it coming," said my cat, a wry and mistrustful thing. She sat at the foot of the bed staring—I don't know how long she'd been there.

 She continues, "I imagine it all starting with a sound. Or rather the sound of no sound. It will fill your boots, then your trousers, brushing up your sides then cupping your head in silence. Not a peaceful quiet, but a pressurized emptiness that makes you gasp. You will try and recalibrate but the only thing you will be able to do at this moment is to smell my butt. This will be my goodbye to you. One last time. Then the light comes and the walls disappear. Then you'll rise a few feet in the air, burning bright. My pupils contract completely into glowing chartreuse pools and your fiery spirit implodes with a blink. And I blink too. Then the light fades and the nocturnal ambiance returns. Finally, it will just be me and the darkness again."

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Oh man, that is ridiciously bad ass. I went for creepy. You wrote god damn poetry, my friend. So good!

Jon T's avatar

ridiculous yes. Thank Shane, I really enjoyed your piece.

Garen Glazier's avatar

Daaaaannnngg! This was an edge-of-my-seat read, and I love cats!! That moment when the door shatters. Wow. Great stuff.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Hahaha awesome. Thanks for reading, Garen. Your words mean a lot. ❤️

K.C. Knouse's avatar

Horrific ending, Shane. Your precise descriptors put me there in the cornfield and in the house. Well done.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

K.C.! Always nice to hear from you, my friend. Thank you for giving this a read.

Nick Buchheit's avatar

This was lovely, Shane. You've painted a lovely picture of fear and paranoia.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thanks for reading, Nick! I greatly appreciate the positive words.

CB Mason | YA Dystopian+Sci-Fi's avatar

Creepy! I only hope I will forget this tale by the time I go to bed tonight. And if the neighbor cats wake me, I’m liable to go running for the hills!

Shane Bzdok's avatar

🤣 Thanks for reading, CB!

J. Kyle Turner's avatar

A rat king made out of cats? How has no one thought of this before? Well done.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thanks for reading, J!

J. Curtis's avatar

This is incredible. The sounds are so visceral that the reveal at the end had me re-read it to look for clues. Brilliantly done!

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thank you for this, J! You've just made the start of a challenging week a lot brighter thanks to your amazing review.

troy adkins's avatar

man, that last line gave me chills. great writing, shane!

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thank you for reading and for the kind words! 🙏

The Ear Implant Foundation's avatar

Instead of a shotgun, she should have been armed with a fire hose!

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Ha! Would have been much more effective! 😂

Benjamin McCoy's avatar

Excellent! It reminds me of the old folk tale “Better Wait Till Martin Comes “ that I read in a collection called the People Could Fly.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thanks for reading, Benjamin. I will have to check out People Could Fly!

Wendy Cockcroft's avatar

Cat-lover here. Great job! I love the Big Giant Moggy of Doom as a monster. The visceral writing style really brings it to life. You've earned a subscription.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Haha "Giant Moggy of Doom" - adding that one to my lexicon. Thank you for reading and your amazing comments, Wendy. I am especially grateful for your subscription. I hope I can continue to earn it.

Stevie Duffy's avatar

This was great fun, Shane! 👌🏻

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Thanks for reading, Stephen! I appreciate the comments, always.

Garen Glazier's avatar

Got this in my TBR!

Phoeby's avatar

I read your story with my cat beside me, thinking about how she wakes me up every morning to feed her: she rests her head on mine and starts blowing into my ear. And if that doesn’t work, she brings out her little claws and gently pokes my neck :))) I really enjoyed your story.

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Haha, I love that. Your cat sounds like she has some manners. Although the gentle poke of your neck might be something of a threat of worse things to come if she doesn't get fed! 😬

Thank you for reading and especially for subscribing, Pheoby.